I ran a poll recently to my followers on LinkedIn.
Do you think it was:
- Communication problems
- Infidelity or loss of trust
- Incompatible lifestyles (or)
- Growing apart over time
70% cited communication as the main reason.
If communication problems are seen as the main reason why couples break up, for me… this is a hugely positive result and here’s why!
We often complicate things in our relationships because we allow ourselves to be hijacked by defensiveness and criticism.
We feel an overwhelming need to be right or to encourage our partner to see things from our perspective.
If enough time goes by with this negative energy dominating our relationship, we begin to feel like we’re not compatible.
That if our partner would just change to our way of thinking, everything would be okay.
And then if they can’t, maybe it’s just not going to work out.
Maybe it’s going to be easier to change partners altogether.
To put it down to incompatibility and find someone else.
If you do this, you could lose out on years of life experience and growth together and find yourself in a very similar situation with your next partner, after the honeymoon period has worn off.
The truth is, that all relationships are a ‘dynamic’. It’s not the personality types that do or don’t clash.
It’s the space between the relationship.
The way we interact.
The way we resolve conflict and the level of appreciation we believe we have for each other.
Good communication is all about feeling heard and understood.
Bringing me back to why communication is such a positive result from this poll…
Well, it’s because communication is something within our control that we can work on and develop.
I believe the reason why people find communication so challenging in their relationships is because they don’t have the right tools.
They have never been taught how to communicate effectively.
They have only witnessed power struggles in their parents’ relationship, or they have only ever experienced power struggles in their own relationships over the years.
The Rebooting Relationships Program provides you with these communication tools.
Strategies that you can start applying to your relationship from the very first week.
Techniques that will have a big impact on the way you interact and the level of appreciation you have for each other.
These models will help you understand your partner better and improve your ability to view challenges from a different perspective.
Wondering what to do next?
Reach out to me directly here via private message.
Or email me at Steve@RebootingRelationships.com
I would love to be able to help you and your relationship thrive.