The honest answer first

Does online couples counselling actually work?

It is the first thing most people ask me, and it is a fair question. You are about to talk about the most personal corner of your life through a laptop. So let me give you the honest answer rather than the salesy one.

Yes, it works. The research that compares online relationship support with face to face work keeps landing in the same place: for most couples, it is just as effective. My own experience over 20 years says exactly the same. I have watched couples turn things around over Zoom who had all but given up, and I genuinely could not tell you the format made the difference.

In fact, for plenty of couples it works better, and not by accident. You are both relaxed in your own space rather than braced in a stranger’s office. There is no drive across town with an argument still hanging in the car. And when getting there is this easy, you actually keep going, week after week, which is where the real change happens. The couples who quietly stop attending tend to be the ones for whom every session is a logistical battle.

I will not promise you a fairy tale ending, because no honest coach can. What I can tell you is that the thing that shifts a relationship is the work between you, not the room you do it in. If you want the straight version of how coaching differs from traditional talk therapy, I lay it out in my guide to coaching versus counselling.

What to expect

What an online session is actually like

People often picture something stiff and clinical, and it is the opposite of that. Here is what genuinely happens.

We meet over Zoom. I send you a link, you click it at the agreed time, and we are in. It looks like the three of us having a conversation, because that is what it is. I read tone, pace and what is left unsaid just as clearly over video, and I will slow us down, pause us and reflect back what each of you has said the moment things start to heat up.

You join from your own home. Most couples settle on the same sofa with one screen. If you are apart, one on a late shift, one travelling, one living in another country for a stretch, you each join from where you are. Two windows, one session, nobody has to miss it.

It is properly private. No shared waiting room, no chance of bumping into someone you know on the way out. Shut a door, pop some headphones in, and it is just the two of you and me.

You keep the tools to hand. You get a shared Google Drive with your exercises, notes and videos, all on your phone, plus unlimited messaging support between sessions. The hardest moments do not happen at 11am on a Wednesday in a session. They happen at 9pm at the kitchen table, and that is exactly when the help is there.

Is it right for you

Who online couples counselling suits best

Online is not a compromise for these couples. It is the only reason the work fits into their lives at all. You may recognise yourself here.

The outcomes

What we will actually work on together

The format is online, but the work is the same deep work I do in the room. Over a programme, this is where most couples want to get to.

Communicating without it turning into the same row. Most couples are not short of love. They are short of a way to talk about the hard stuff without it spiralling into defensiveness within two minutes. We build a shared language and a set of tools so you can have the conversation rather than have the argument.

Reconnection and intimacy. When life has quietly turned you into co-parents and flatmates, the affection and the closeness are usually the first things to go. A lot of my work is helping couples find their way back to actually enjoying each other again. It is the heart of how I approach relationship counselling.

Rebuilding trust. Whether that is after an affair, or after years of small letdowns that stacked up, we work on what it honestly takes to feel safe with each other again. No glossing over it, and no false promises.

Getting aligned on the future. Money, time, where you are heading, what the next ten years look like. Plenty of couples are not pulling apart so much as pulling in different directions. We get you back on the same team, facing the same way.

Cost and how it works

What it costs and how we get started

It starts with a free discovery call. We talk through what is going on, what you both want, and whether I am the right fit. No pitch, no obligation. From there I build a bespoke programme around your situation, usually six to twelve weeks, with live Zoom sessions, your shared Google Drive of exercises and videos, and unlimited messaging support between sessions all included.

A lot of online counsellors charge per session, often between £60 and £150 an hour, which adds up quietly over the months. I work as a single programme of around £1,000, with an optional fortnightly payment plan, so you can see the whole picture from day one rather than watching a meter run. The aim is to hand you the tools and step back, not to keep you on the calendar. If marriage is the word that fits your situation better, it is the same approach I bring to marriage counselling.

And if you are local to Greater Manchester and would simply rather be in the room, in person at my Stockport practice is always an option. The programme and the support between sessions are identical either way.

Step by step

How a Zoom couples counselling session works

Before we start. A day or so before each session I send you a Zoom link, and that is the only tech you need. Find somewhere you will not be interrupted, sit side by side on the sofa or at the kitchen table, and prop the laptop up so I can see you both. If you are in different places that week, you each click the same link from wherever you are. Headphones help if there are children or housemates around, and a cup of tea never hurts.

The first few minutes. We start with a short check-in on how the week has gone, what you tried and what blew up. I am not after a perfect report. I am listening for the moment that keeps repeating, because that is usually where the real work is. By the end of the check-in we agree what this session is for, so nobody leaves feeling their thing was missed.

The heart of the session. This is where we work on one real conversation, live. I will slow you both down, pause things when the temperature rises, and reflect back what each of you is actually saying underneath the words. Then I teach you a tool, something like a soft start or a structured pause, and you practise it with each other while I coach you through it. It feels far less awkward than people expect, because you are doing it in your own home.

Before we finish, and in between. We close by agreeing one small thing to practise before we next meet, and the notes, exercises and videos go into your shared Google Drive so neither of you has to remember everything. Between sessions you can message me whenever a hard moment comes up, which is often when the real progress happens. The next session then picks up from what actually happened in your week, not from a blank page.

Common questions about online couples counselling

If yours is not here, the discovery call is the right place to ask.